Handshake
by The RyRy
Summary: A look at just how different Spiran culture is from Zanarkand culture by examining the relationship between Wakka and Tidus. What could happen between the cut scenes? [WakkaTidus, TidusYuna]


_Author's Note: This fic is an early fic for me, written even before Totem was completed. It was in fragments, and I have recently put it all together and made a coherent fic out of it. I originally had a point to this fic which was much like the point of Switch, but I'm not certain if it's portrayed as solidly. I know lots of people enjoyed this when it was in progress, so I owe it to them to post this finally. It ends somewhat abruptly, but it ends when the indicated storyline is finished. A good portion of the dialogue is taken from the actual game script. Enjoy a look at what could happen between the cut scenes. –RyRy_

**Handshake**

_a FFX fic_

The night was really warm – so warm that it was impossible to sleep. It made the blankets feel sweaty, and the bed itself was like a heating pad, no matter where the skin touched it. For the locals on Besaid Island, it was just another night that they slept peacefully through.

For Tidus, it was a restless night, and the unfamiliar situation he was in only made it worse. He tried to convince himself that he was asleep, but it was impossible – sometimes, just as he was drifting off, he would think he heard voices. When he started awake, there was no one there.

He figured that he was dying. Whatever this toxin was that they said had infected him, it was making him hallucinate, hearing voices – maybe this entire world, this _Spira_ that he had found himself in, was just one big hallucination. It wasn't bad, he figured, although he wished he was back at home.

Still in his mind, he could see Auron, and the huge thing swallowing him in the sky. "Why did you leave me?" he muttered, remembering the horrible ship he had woken up on, and the people he had seen there who didn't speak his language… except the one girl.

"Come back to me," he muttered, trying to talk to anybody. The girl, Auron, his teammates… _anybody._

For a while, Tidus stayed still, trying to force himself to sleep. Was he asleep? He didn't know, but he rolled over in the bed when the heat got too much for him to stand.

There was somebody next to his bed, and the presence startled him awake.

"Hey, calm down, ya?" said a voice trying to assure him.

Tidus rubbed his eyes, recognizing the voice and then the face that materialized in the dark. "Wakka… what are you doing here?" Tidus slowly sat up, the blanket coming with him and draping over his legs.

"Nothin', really. Couldn't sleep, and Gatta said you were making a ruckus talking in your sleep, so I decided to see if you were alright." Wakka made as though he was going to stand up to leave.

"No, wait, Wakka," Tidus said quickly, before he even realized that he had a response.

Wakka inclined his head, eyeing Tidus. "Somethin' wrong?"

"No," Tidus responded all too quickly, realizing and kicking himself for it at the same time. "Just… it's awfully quiet here."

Wakka laughed lightly. "Quiet, you say? You expect people to be awake at this hour?"

Tidus sighed, looking down at the ground. "It's odd for me… Zanarkand is so loud at nights… I didn't realize it could be quiet."

After a long silence, Wakka finally planted his hand on Tidus's shoulder, which prompted the blonde to look up. He met Wakka's meticulous stare, uncertain. "Maybe," Wakka finally spoke, "maybe you really are from Zanarkand, ya?"

Tidus looked away quickly. "Since when did you start believing me about that?"

Wakka shrugged, taking his hand off Tidus's shoulder now. "Just seems like you couldn't make something like that up, you know? Noisy at nights… the only place it's noisy is Luca, and that's only after a game."

Tidus looked back down at the ground. "But you say Zanarkand's just ruins now…"

"Hey, don't take my word for it. I've never been there myself. Suppose it could be true."

Before Tidus could respond, there was a scratching at the outside of the lodge's wall. Wakka looked over in surprise. "What's that?" Tidus said, standing up slowly.

"You stay here, I'll go check it out," Wakka answered, turning and leaving.

Tidus felt helpless, but decided to follow Wakka's orders. He sat back down on the bed with a sigh.

"It's a fiend!" That was Gatta.

"No problem," replied Wakka's voice.

There were a few moments of quiet chaos, a mixture of sounds that Tidus couldn't identify. There was an eerie silence, followed by Gatta re-entering the tent.

"Everything okay?" Tidus asked, stepping out into the front room.

"Yeah, no problem," Gatta replied, sitting back down at the table. "Just one of the little fiends, they wander into the village sometimes."

Tidus breathed a sigh of relief, and pulled open the tent flap to see if Wakka was alright.

The guardian from the temple was out there, with Wakka, and they were talking in hushed voices. Though… not hushed enough. Tidus could hear clearly everything that was being said.

"He does look a lot like Chappu. I was surprised, too, the first time I saw him. But no matter what he looks like, he isn't Chappu. You shouldn't have brought him here in the first place."

Wakka looked a bit taken aback at that, and he diverted his eyes from the woman. "Yeah, but he needed our help…"

"Excuses again?"

"Yeah… but…"

The woman rolled her eyes and turned away. "That's it, no more! Enough Wakka!"

Wakka watched the woman walk away helplessly, then turned back to Tidus's tent. "Scary," Tidus observed. He paused, watching Wakka's reaction. "So… who's Chappu?"

"My little brother, Chappu," Wakka explained, returning to the back room and the beds. "He looked a lot like you."

"He's dead?" Tidus felt strange asking that, but he had to be sure.

"He was with the Crusaders when they fought Sin last year… he didn't make it." Wakka sat down on the bed, and Tidus followed his lead, sitting down opposite him. "I first heard on the day of the tournament."

"Oh… so that's why," Tidus mused.

"I became a guardian to fight Sin, ya?" Wakka explained, resting his head in his hands.

"Revenge, then?"

"That was the idea. I'm more worried about a stupid game now than avenging my brother. Well, after the next tournament, I'll be a guardian full-time." Wakka spoke with conviction, then looked up guiltily at Tidus. "I know it kinda looks like I'm using you, but I'm not." 

"Don't worry. I mean, I owe you a lot. You really helped me out, you know," Tidus assured him.

Wakka didn't look convinced. 

"What I mean is… thanks, Wakka," Tidus added, extending his hand. "For everything."

Wakka looked taken aback, and reached out his hand. Their fingers touched for a second, and it felt so warm and inviting, but Wakka pulled back. He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Hey, come on, you're embarrassing me," he said sheepishly, but laughing a bit at the same time.

Tidus blinked. "Why's that?"

Wakka stared at him incredulously for a moment as though he couldn't believe what the boy had just said. Then, he laughed sheepishly again. "Ah, forgot that you aren't from around here, ya?"

"Does that… mean something that I should know about? Like that prayer?"

Wakka put his hands up defensively. "No, no, never compare that to the prayer. Completely different."

Tidus was confused. "Well, what's it mean then? It's just a handshake…"

"In Zanarkand," Wakka stopped, grinning a bit, "or wherever you're from, it might be 'just a handshake'. But here… eh… it means something different."

What could a handshake possibly mean? "Well, out with it," Tidus insisted, returning Wakka's grin, "if it's something bad, I didn't mean it!"

"It's kinda like," Wakka lowered his eyes from Tidus's, hand cupping the back of his own head, "kinda like an arrangement, ya? An 'I want to see you later – in private' thing."

Tidus blinked. "But aren't we in private now…?"

Wakka's face flushed until it was almost the same colour as his hair. "Private… as in _private_, you get what I'm sayin'?"

Private as in… "Oh!" Tidus exclaimed, finally understanding. He felt as if his face was probably the same colour as Wakka's… maybe darker. "But… you do that to women, right?"

Wakka shook his head, laughing a bit. "No, with women, you ask 'em on a date, ya?"

"Whooooa," Tidus replied, giving Wakka that same incredulous stare that Wakka had used on him earlier. "But… isn't that kinda taboo, or something?"

"What, asking women on dates?" Wakka looked at Tidus, raising his eyebrows. "You don't do that where you're from?"

"No, no, I meant," it felt kind of weird to say this, especially as he was currently in the situation, "to… be in _private_ with… another guy?"

Wakka stared at him. "Gee, things sure must be different for you. It's not against the teachings… Yevon encourages it, ya? Only if we don't let it get the best of us, and repent for our wrongs."

Tidus swallowed. "In Zanarkand… it _is_ a wrongful act… people say it's unnatural." He tried to be careful of how he worded that statement… he didn't want to offend the one friend he had here.

Wakka just laughed. "Nonsense," he replied, clapping Tidus on the shoulder again. Somehow, that action felt weirder than ever before. "It's perfectly natural. Yevon says we gotta get it outta our systems so that we can concentrate on the teachings and our work. Doesn't matter who with, as long as it's agreed."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_After it had sunk in, it occurred to me that I must really have been in a strange and alien place. A religion, promoting casual sex… between men? I tried not to think about it, but it made me see things in a whole new light…_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

"Hey Aurochs, gather 'round."

The team huddled around Wakka, Tidus included. "We're gonna go to the temple, ya? Pray for victory. Lord Oholland will surely guide our feet to the championship!" The team cheered and took off for the temple.

"Wakka, praying for victory's good and all, but are you sure this is right?" Tidus asked as the two of them hung behind the rest of the group.

"Something wrong with enjoying blitzball?" Wakka turned his anxious brown eyes on Tidus as they walked toward the jungle.

"Is this really the time?"

"This is the only time," Wakka answered, looking ahead toward the giant staircase which led to the temple. "The players fight with all their strength: the fans cheer for their favorite team. They forget pain, suffering... only the game matters! That's why blitz has been around for so long. Least that's what I think."

They went the rest of the way to the temple stairs in silence. Tidus felt the mood lighten a bit at Yuna's antics with the race up the steps, and then come crashing down after a nasty run-in with the Luca Goers, who took the opportunity to verbally taunt the Aurochs at every opportunity. After Yuna completed the Trials and the group headed back to the boat, the customs of Spira caught his eye yet again.

"Hey, Cap'n." It was Keepa, the goalie for the Aurochs, approaching Wakka. Tidus paused, waiting for Wakka (truthfully, because he didn't remember his way back to the port), and tried not to eavesdrop… but it was hard not to.

"Keepa, you ready for the game?" Wakka's excitement showed in his voice.

"Yeah, a little nervous, you know? Those Goers were making real asses of themselves. Ya handled it well though."

Keepa extended his hand to Wakka.

Wakka's eyes flinched downward, and he extended his hand back. Tidus grimaced, knowing now what the gesture meant, but Wakka did something different.

He batted at the back of Keepa's hand, knuckles brushing. "Yeah, those guys, they never know when to stop. Really freaked out Botta, too," Wakka answered with an almost apologetic smile.

"Botta, eh?" Keepa grinned, retracting his hand. "I'll go see if I can calm him down. That guy gets too worked up."

Wakka returned the grin. "That's be great, can't have our defenseman nervous, ya?" He, too, pulled his hand back, watching as Keepa sprinted off to where the others were.

Now Wakka and Tidus were alone on the dock that led to the boat. "Was that a rejection?" Tidus asked in a low voice.

Wakka turned and looked at him. "What, you have no manners?"

Tidus looked away sheepishly.

Wakka put his arm around Tidus's shoulder suddenly, and very affectionately. "Nah, it's okay. Yeah, that was a rejection. Friendly one, though. Keepa's a good guy, ya?"

Tidus kind of wondered what he meant by that. "Do you guys do that… often?"

Wakka looked down at him, wide brown eyes smiling. "You're just full of questions, aren't you?" He laughed, releasing Tidus from his half-embrace. "It really depends on the person, I guess. Some guys do, some don't. I don't, not really, but I do get asked by the guys sometimes."

Sometimes Tidus wished he wasn't so curious about everything. Like now. "Do you ever accept?"

"Sometimes," Wakka replied straightforwardly, looking out over the water as the last of the sun's rays disappeared. "I do it for them, you know? Helps improve the team spirit and all."

Tidus didn't exactly see how sleeping with each other would promote a healthy team spirit… wouldn't it just inspire jealousy? But, then again, Spira was a completely different world. "So why didn't you?"

Wakka looked down at the dock… was he being shy? "I got other things to do now. Gotta look after Yuna, and you too, now that I think about it." He lifted his head, the grin returning to his features. "Gotta make sure you don't get knocked on the head by Sin again, and wake up thinking you're a Maester of Yevon or something."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_It could be worse… I could wake up and suddenly want to have random casual sex with my teammates… _

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Inside the Luca locker room, Tidus stood by the bench that Wakka had been laid on. A bandage was wrapped around Wakka's midsection, holding in a couple of broken ribs. The man looked like he was in some serious pain. "Yuna okay?" His voice didn't sound much better than his body looked.

Not that Tidus was looking at his body.

Okay, well, maybe he was. Since the whole discussion about the secret meaning of the handshake, Tidus had looked at a lot of things differently. Seeing how well the Aurochs got along with each other, and knowing the theoretical explanation behind it, made Tidus think too much. What exactly went on behind the scenes? Was a handshake just a random agreement for casual sex, or was it bonding in a way that Tidus had never even imagined before?

It had him curious.

"You hear me?" Wakka tried to sit up, but failed miserably, collapsing back onto the bench with a grimace.

"Yeah, sorry, just thinking," Tidus answered, sitting down on a bench to face Wakka. "Yeah, Yuna's fine. She's with Lulu and Kimahri in the crowd, waiting for the game to start."

"Can't believe she let herself get kidnapped by Al Bhed," Wakka muttered, running a hand through his askew red hair. "Bad news, those guys."

Wakka was _still_ trying to sit up. Tidus felt bad for the poor guy, really. Broken ribs hurt more than most injuries, and they were devastating for a Blitzer. "Here," he offered, extending his arm to Wakka without even thinking about it.

Wakka looked up, first at the hand, then at Tidus's face. Finally he grinned and grabbed Tidus around the forearm, obviously being careful to keep his hand far away from Tidus's.

Tidus grabbed Wakka in the same way, giving the other man a good pull so he was sitting upright. Wakka's touch on his arm lingered a little too long, though, fingertips glancing along the skin as he pulled slowly away.

Or maybe Tidus was just making too much out of it.

Wakka sighed. "I don't think I can play, not like this." He made a gesture to his ribs, then flinched as if even the gesture hurt. "You gotta go in for me," he added, looking up at Tidus.

Tidus was taken aback. Not that he wasn't a good blitzer – secretly, he knew he was better than Wakka, anyway, even if Wakka really did put everything he had into the game – he was just shocked that Wakka was _that_ hurt. "Okay, Wakka, I will."

Wakka smiled that big smile of his, sitting up straight to avoid the pressure on his ribs. "Win the game for us, brudda. I'm counting on you."

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_He was counting on me. After we won that game against the Goers, Wakka seemed so happy that he could go out on a victorious tournament. But I could tell that the change of lifestyle from blitzer to guardian was rough on him…_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

"It's about your brother…"

"Luzzu, no!"

"I'm the one who convinced him to enlist." The Crusader bowed his head to Wakka. "I'm sorry." Luzzu looked up hopefully, as though his guilt from years past had been erased.

The silence was enormous, and everyone watched Wakka, waiting for his reaction. When it came, it was different than anyone expected.

Wakka was normally gentle, a well-meaning guy who knew his strength and was only playfully rough. He could do damage on the blitz field and in battle, but striking a friend was out of the question.

Which is why it shocked everyone that he stepped forward and punched Luzzu across the side of his face. And as if that wasn't enough, he lunged forward to do more damage, even as Luzzu hit the ground from the powerful blow.

Tidus lunged forward, throwing his arms around Wakka's shoulders. "That's enough, Wakka!" he said in vain, as though his words could stop this man who could probably throw him aside in an instant.

But Wakka was a gentle soul, and everyone knew it. Tidus was surprised that he stopped struggling in his rage, backing off and letting Tidus hold him away from the Crusader. "When we used to play blitz together, Chappu would always say—" Wakka glared at Luzzu, but turned away. "He'd say that – when we won the cup, ya? – he'd propose to Lulu. Then one day, he goes off and becomes a Crusader. Just like that."

Luzzu rubbed the side of his face, where a large red mark had spread. "Chappu also said to me the being with your girl is good, but keeping Sin far away from her is better."

Wakka turned indignantly, looking at Lulu. "Lu, you knew?"

"Luzzu told me before we left," she admitted quietly.

"She hit me, too," Luzzu added. There was a shout from a distance away and Luzzu looked towards the sea, and then back to the group. "Well, that's my cue." He turned and began to walk away.

Wakka sighed and hung his head. "Luzzu! Don't die out there," he finally said.

Luzzu turned and eyed Wakka. "Why, so you can hit me more?"

Wakka offered a weak grin. "Lots! Lots more!" he answered, gesturing playfully with his arms.

Not knowing what to make of this, Luzzu just stared at Wakka. Then he nodded and continued on his way.

That, coupled with the incident with Maester Seymour, threw Wakka for a loop. The guy was having his world torn to pieces around him… the thing that he had gone to for strength – his faith in Yevon – was starting to fail him too. He watched the slaughter that was Operation Mi'ihen with worried eyes, and Tidus watched him too. Wakka was really having difficulty accepting that Yevon would allow such a thing to go on.

Finally they reached Djose, eager to get away from the remains of the terrible battle. That night, in the Inn after they had been to the temple, Tidus found Wakka pacing in the room that they were to share. The influx of refugees from the Mi'ihen Highroad had taken up a large number of rooms in the Inn, so they were forced to double up.

Tidus approached Wakka carefully. "You okay?"

The door creaked shut behind Tidus. "No," Wakka admitted, still pacing. "How could the Maesters let that happen? Using machina? Why are they… why did they let… all those people! The Crusaders, the Chocobo Knights… all their lives wasted in a defilement of the teachings!"

Tidus took a step back. Wakka was really angry, and Tidus knew enough from the afternoon to never get near Wakka when he was angry. It was a sad lesson to have to learn, but Tidus couldn't be sure if Wakka would be prone to another bout of violence or not.

"What're you so nervous about?" Wakka asked suddenly, collapsing back down into a sitting position on the bed.

"I… I don't like seeing you angry," Tidus stammered, looking down at the floor.

"Yeah, well, it happens," Wakka replied, his voice and demeanor surly. "Especially when people are being so stupid, ya?"

"At least they were trying—"

"They defiled the teachings!" Wakka slammed his fist down into the bed, but covered his eyes with his other hand. "They defiled the teachings, and now they're all dead."

There was true despair evident in Wakka's voice. Tidus didn't know what to do; the whole situation had become horribly uncomfortable. He took another step away, meaning to leave Wakka alone for a few moments.

But Wakka looked up at just that moment. "No, I'm not mad at you," he assured Tidus, waving his hand dismissively in the air. "I'm just frustrated, that's all. Didn't want to get like this in front of Yuna, ya? Need to get the negative energy out."

Tidus relaxed. "It's okay, Wakka," he assured the other, sitting down on the second bed in the room. "I… can't imagine what it must be like for you. It's good of you to be so strong for Yuna."

"It's hard," Wakka admitted, resting his elbows on his knees. "I don't know how Lu can do it. She's always so strong. Never lets anything bother her."

"She probably has times like these too," Tidus tried, suddenly finding his hand on Wakka's shoulder.

"I think we all do," Wakka agreed, looking up from the floor finally. "She's just way calmer about things, ya? Wish I could be like that."

"No, I don't think it would suit you," Tidus replied, sliding his hand around to the back of Wakka's head. "Your expressions convey your emotions so easily… that's one of the best things about you, you know."

Wakka held his gaze, studying him – at the same time, he leaned his head back into the touch a little. "Whatever you say," he responded with a smirk, closing his eyes for a moment.

"It's true," Tidus insisted, running his fingers through the hair below the bandana Wakka wore. "You wouldn't be the same person if your emotions weren't so readable. I think everyone would agree."

"Yeah?" Wakka's eyes opened for a moment, then closed again. There was a soft smile on his features. "I suppose I might be in trouble now, then."

Tidus heard and felt Wakka's body move, but he didn't expect to look down and see… Wakka's right hand extended toward him in offering.

His hand froze in Wakka's hair, suddenly realizing what the situation was that he had gotten himself into. Tidus bit his lower lip, staring at Wakka's hand for long moments, until finally it was Wakka who broke the silence by retracting his hand gracefully, laughing a bit. "See, I knew it'd get me into trouble, ya?"

Tidus looked up at Wakka. He hadn't been done deciding yet, but it seemed as though the moment had slipped away.

Or had it?

He gazed at Wakka for a few seconds, pondering. The other man had closed his eyes, probably in embarrassment at being rejected. From what Tidus had gathered, it wasn't really often that Wakka would offer such a thing.

And Tidus hadn't even properly rejected him.

Although, he wasn't sure if he even wanted to reject Wakka. The thoughts had been plaguing Tidus's mind ever since he had learned about the custom, and especially since he had become so enveloped in Spiran culture. He saw it, he noticed it, and he felt as though he was being left out of something because he wasn't participating.

And Wakka… it really looked like the man could use it. That was obviously the case since he had offered, he had put himself out there to be rejected… and not even properly.

"Didn't freak you out, did I?" Wakka's voice finally asked, snapping Tidus out of his daze.

Shaking his head vehemently, Tidus responded, "No, no… I… just feel weird because…" He trailed off, getting lost in his thoughts again as his eyes met Wakka's gaze.

"Because…?"

Tidus was vaguely aware that his fingers had started moving again, in Wakka's hair. It was surprisingly soft, which made Tidus wonder how it stayed in its gravity-defying position without hair gel. He was also vaguely aware that he had trailed off out of the conversation again. Wakka was staring at him strangely. "Because… oh, I don't know," he said finally, sighing. "Your hair's really soft."

Wakka blinked at him for a moment, then laughed heartily. "Why are people always so amazed by that?"

"Because… it's…" Tidus made a gesture with his free hand to mimic the image of Wakka's hair.

"Hey, don't ask me," Wakka replied good-naturedly, bringing his hands up defensively. "I don't know how it does it, but I know better by now than to argue, ya?"

Tidus laughed, twining his fingers in Wakka's hair again and touseling it affectionately. "You could cut it," he suggested.

Wakka looked horrified. "Cut… the hair?" He spoke like it was sacrilege.

"I'm sorry, but wouldn't the reduced weight make it easier to hold your head up?"

"Well, if you cut yours, maybe it wouldn't hang in your eyes so you could see to hit the fiends, ya?"

Their friendly banter continued, but Tidus wasn't really paying attention. He was engrossed by Wakka's body, his hair, his face – everything about him, basically. The man was so big, so strong, that Tidus wondered what it would have been like had he accepted that handshake.

It didn't even seem to phase Wakka. He took the rejection in stride, returning to the way he always was.

This was the way he was outwardly, the side of him that he showed to Yuna and the rest of the Guardians. The angry, depressed man had disappeared… likely repressed inside of Wakka somewhere. Tidus didn't want to see that happen. He liked Wakka – as a friend, as a fellow Guardian – too much to allow him to do that.

It was all very spontaneous, but Tidus found himself roughhousing with Wakka more affectionately now, and in a different way than before. It grew later in the night, and the two men wound up laying on the bed together with their arms intertwined, taking every opportunity possible to try to lock each other in a headlock or a pin.

Tidus was having a nice time, really. He enjoyed the physical affection and playfulness of Wakka… but the thought still lingered in his mind… what if he had accepted that handshake?

Never having enjoyed regrets, and being a rather spontaneous person as it was, Tidus found himself sitting up on the bed suddenly.

"Hey, something wrong?" Wakka sat up too now, eyeing Tidus concernedly.

"Yeah," Tidus said matter-of-factly. "Wakka, I'm sorry for earlier."

Wakka looked absolutely puzzled. "What for?"

"You know," Tidus said, turning to face Wakka. "This."

He extended his right hand toward the other.

"Whoa," Wakka said, looking down incredulously. "You know what that means, right?"

Tidus nodded.

"I dunno, I should argue with you and try to dissuade you, but I don't think that's gonna work."

Tidus shook his head.

"Okay then," Wakka added, reaching his hand forward and grasping Tidus's palm. "Can't say I didn't try, ya?"

Feeling Wakka's hand close around his brought Tidus a sense of relief. Finally… that bit of tension had been broken. But what now?

His question was answered when Wakka kept hold of his hand and pulled him in close, dropping a sudden and heavy kiss onto Tidus's mouth.

It was exhilarating in a new way for Tidus – he'd been with many a girl back in Zanarkand, raving blitzball fans, but never like this. Wakka was so strong; Tidus guessed that he had always known how strong the other man was, but right now he could feel it through the heady emotion conveyed through the kiss.

He couldn't even find the power to kiss back for a moment. Tidus was lost in the newness of sensation.

He was also a bit scared of what would happen. It was the nervousness which balled itself up in the pit of his stomach that made him finally react almost instinctively. Of course, this meant that he kissed Wakka back fiercely.

Wakka made a low sound in his throat signaling his approval of Tidus's reaction. A large hand slipped around the back of his neck and he felt his head being cradled tenderly as Wakka's fingers laced in his hair. "Never have before," Tidus murmured breathily as the kiss broke momentarily.

"Don't worry, you'll be okay," Wakka murmured back just as breathily.

"Don't know—"

"I'll show you." Wakka's mouth left Tidus's, and roughly found the underside of his jaw.

Tidus let his eyes flutter shut at the onslaught of pleasure.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_The butterflies in my stomach eventually settled, and now that I knew the meaning behind the secret that had plagued me since I had awoken on Besaid, I rested a little easier. I also saw with much more ease how Spira worked… but there was still a lot I didn't know. A lot…_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

"Hey," Wakka said while they were in Macalania Woods. "Yuna… she's not looking too good, you know? Maybe you should…"

Tidus looked up ahead to where the Summoner had stopped at the side of the pathway, gazing out into the trees. She really did look upset. "Alright," he agreed, nodding to Wakka and taking a few steps forward.

Walking up beside Yuna, Tidus dropped his head a little trying to catch her eye. "Hey," he said, smiling brightly, "What's wrong?"

The way Yuna looked up at him, with her eyes dancing with delight at simply seeing him, made Tidus quiver at the knees a little. "Oh, I'm just worried, about Maester Seymour," she said simply. Everybody knew that she should be worried about that, even Tidus, so the answer was obvious.

But it wasn't true – Tidus could tell. "You're worried about marrying him, aren't you?"

Yuna gasped lightly and turned her face away. "It is the right thing to do."

"Is it?" Tidus gently took her by the elbow. "It may seem like it's a good idea, but you don't love him. He's…" Tidus paused, looking out at the forest that Yuna was eyeing. "Do you really want _that_ next to you for the rest of your life?"

Yuna bit her lower lip. "It… isn't like that."

"Oh really?" Tidus released her elbow gently, gesturing out at the beauty of the woods. "Do you really want to be with him for all of eternity? Or do you want to be able to share life with someone who is worth it, someone you truly love?"

Yuna's eyes turned down, looking at the ground. "I need to do what's best for Spira. It won't be like this forever."

"So you're going to ditch him when you've brought the Calm, then, right?"

Yuna smiled weakly. "Yes, that's it."

Tidus could tell that she wasn't telling the truth, or at least not the entire truth. He watched her carefully, but decided to change the subject. "So what awaits us at Macalania?" he asked, looking for anything to talk about besides that creep, Seymour.

As they talked, Tidus couldn't keep his thoughts away from what Auron had told him – Sin was Jecht. Sin was his father. The words still stung like he had just been told them recently, but the information had sunk in. Tidus knew he had to do something about that, that he had to fix the problem somehow – and the fact that Sin was his father seemed to be the key. Maybe, he thought, there would be some way for him to get Jecht to destroy Sin from the inside instead of having to fight it and risk everyone's lives. Tidus, as he talked to Yuna, resolved to make that happen. There had to be a way, and Tidus would find it so that no one would have to perish at Sin's hand ever again.

He had a feeling that the only way he could accomplish that was by staying with Yuna, and keeping her away from that Seymour guy. He seemed like bad news from the start, regardless of how everyone revered him. He just looked creepy, with those long talon-like hands and that weird blue hair. Tidus couldn't stand the thought of letting Yuna doom herself to a life with that, when she deserved so much more.

She deserved so much more.

But he had Wakka, they had been sharing their time and their bodies for the past several nights. It was like an addiction – but if he went to Yuna… then…

It was a terrible, terrible circle. He knew he could show Yuna exactly what she deserved, and keep her away from Seymour. But was it worth giving up the first friend he had made in this world, and the new relationship he reveled in?

His thoughts clouded, and he became confused. He knew he had to do something, so he resolved to talk to Wakka about it.

Of course, Wakka wasn't exactly helpful. "Yuna follows her heart," he said when Tidus asked. "She's gonna marry Seymour even if she doesn't want to. She does what she thinks is best for Spira."

This only frustrated Tidus more – Wakka didn't get what Tidus was even asking. "Don't you see?" Tidus said, waving his arms. "What I'm saying is that… that…"

Wakka just crossed his arms. "I know what you're saying," he interrupted. "You think you could convince Yuna to forget about Seymour by showing her what she's missing, ya?"

"That's exactly it," Tidus said, lowering his head. Was he that easy to see through? "But what about you?"

Wakka blinked. "What about me?"

Tidus was exasperated. "We're—" He stumbled over his words. "You know, we're… doing… having…"

Wakka waved his hand. "So?" He looked up at the sky. "Doesn't mean anything binding. S'not like we're _married_, ya?"

Tidus had to repress a snort. Being married to Wakka would probably be a never-ending exercise in frustration. "But won't you be mad, or something?"

"You kidding?" Wakka laughed. "Yuna's my little sister, she deserves to do what she wants to do."

Tidus still didn't think Wakka understood what he was asking.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Things with Maester Seymour only got worse. He turned into a power hungry bastard, he challenged us, and we defeated him… but at what cost? We all were branded traitors for killing a Maester, and Yuna was kidnapped by the Al Bhed. I never got the chance to talk to her, and I never got the chance to tell her she was wrong. She was marrying Seymour before I could stop her… and we were far away, on a desert island, before I could even show her how right things could be…_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Yuna's Guardians burst into the Summoner's Sanctum in the Al Bhed Home, searching for Yuna. Fire surrounded them, and a seemingly endless pile of dead bodies. "Yuna!" Rikku called. "Please be here!"

They all shouted for her, but the bodies didn't respond, and Yuna's voice couldn't be heard among the chaos.

"She's not here," came a familiar voice. It was Dona, the Summoner they had encountered along the Pilgrimage. "Wait there until we have performed the Sending."

A little kid, Pacce, Isaaru's little brother, ran up to Tidus and tapped him on the arm. "Hey, what's 'sacrificed'?" He looked up at Tidus with a bright face. "The Al Bhed said the Summoners were being sacrificed, that they shouldn't have to do a pilgrimage…"

As Dona and Isaaru performed the Sending for the dead Al Bhed fighters around them, Tidus felt his heart stop. "Why couldn't they trust the Guardians to protect the Summoners?" he asked quietly. "The Al Bhed have no right to stop their pilgrimage…"

Rikku turned and looked at Tidus in horror. "The pilgrimages have to stop!" she said loudly, clenching her fist. "If they don't, then they get to Zanarkand… they might defeat Sin." She paused, closing her eyes, and her knees visibly shook. "Yunie could, but then she…" Rikku swallowed. "Yunie will die, you know?"

Tidus felt his stomach drop to the floor, a sick sense of dread washing over his spine. He couldn't have heard Rikku right. He opened his mouth to ask, but no words came out.

"You know, don't you?" Rikku continued, looking up pleadingly at Tidus. "Summoners journey to get the Final Aeon – Yunie told you, didn't she? – with the Final Aeon, she can defeat Sin… but… if she calls it, then the Final Aeon's gonna kill her!" She bowed her head, looking at the ground, clenching her eyes closed. "Even if she defeats Sin, it'll kill Yunie too, you know?"

Tidus was shocked. He had heard right. Yuna… was going to die.

She was sacrificing herself, just like Pacce had said.

All this time, he had been promising Yuna everything, trips to Zanarkand when it was all over… and she had just smiled.

"Was I the only one who didn't know?" he murmured, putting his hands on Rikku's shoulders. "Why were you hiding it?"

"We weren't hiding it," Lulu said quickly.

"It was just… too hard to say," Wakka added, looking away.

Tidus's ears rang, his face burned with anger. He wanted to take out all his anger on them, wanted to demand answers for why the Summoners had to die. He wanted to make it all better somehow, but even he knew in his moment of anger that taking it out on Lulu, Wakka, or Rikku would never accomplish anything.

Everything became a blur, the attack from the Wendigo, the Summoners fighting it, and eventually the lifting off in the airship and the destruction of Home. All the events melded together in Tidus's mind, his anger burning into a need to see Yuna and to once and for all make everything better.

There had to be another way, he knew. If anyone could find a way to defeat Sin and keep Summoners alive, Yuna would be the one to do it.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Even when we found out that the clergy of Yevon was obsessed with death, and that Seymour – the guy Yuna was going to marry! – killed Kinoc and tried to kill us by throwing us into the Via Purifico… Yuna was still strong, though her faith was obviously shaken. I needed to tell her everything. I needed to tell her I was sorry for being so optimistic when she was just running off to be sacrificed for more death. I needed to make it all up to her…_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

"I always thought that this would be easier somehow," Yuna murmured, wading in the water of Macalania Woods. "I always thought that everyone would help me, with all my new friends beside me." She bowed her head, looking away from Tidus. "I've been trying so hard."

Tidus stepped forward into the water, getting himself just a few steps closer to her. "Maybe you've been trying too hard," he said quietly. She looked up at him and he found himself lost in her eyes, even though she was still so far away from him.

She was so resigned to her own death.

"They told me everything," Tidus continued, breaking the silence. His words seemed to echo.

"Well, so…" Yuna looked away for a moment, then back up at him. "You know."

"I'm sorry," Tidus said quickly, feeling the words spinning as they came from his lips. "It's just… you know, all those things I said. About Zanarkand, or 'Let's go get Sin!'." He shook his head, even though it required looking away from her. "I didn't know what would happen to you, Yuna. I guess… I hope it didn't make you sad." Before he could stop himself, more words came out. "Forgive me."

Yuna looked genuinely shocked. "I wasn't sad," she said in a soft voice, putting her hand over his. "I was happy."

Tidus ducked under the water, swimming out to where she was. "Yuna, just don't do it," he said suddenly as he surfaced. "Forget all about Sin, about being a Summoner. Live a normal life, you know? Come on, Yuna, what do you say?"

She smiled, and the smile made Tidus feel inadequate. "Wouldn't everybody be surprised?" she asked, though clearly her heart wasn't in it.

Even though Tidus knew he wasn't going to get anywhere in convincing her not to sacrifice herself, he thought that maybe it was worth a shot anyway. "Yeah," he agreed, smiling as he swam closer. "Rikku would be with you, though. Lulu and Wakka," his voice nearly broke on Wakka's name, "wouldn't hold out long."

"Kimahri would say yes, too," Yuna murmured, looking up at him. Tidus thought he could see a glimmer of agreement in her eyes. "But Sir Auron…"

"I'll make him understand for you," Tidus insisted, putting his hand on Yuna's shoulder. Maybe he was getting somewhere with her. "It's the least I can do for you."

"No, I should tell him – he deserves it," Yuna replied. She turned away from Tidus and leaned back until she was floating on the water. "What'll I do if I give up my pilgrimage?"

Tidus's stomach lifted. She was considering it! He knew he could save her. "Let's go to Zanarkand," he said, and not as an unknowing promise this time. "The one I'm from. We can all fly there, everyone can go!"

"And we could see Blitzball," Yuna added, smiling up at the stars. "Your Zanarkand Abes would play, and we could all watch in the stadium all lit up at night. I'd cheer and cheer until I couldn't cheer anymore."

"And afterwards, we'd go out and have fun," Tidus added, taking another step closer.

Yuna turned her body, standing again in the water. "In the middle of the night?"

"Yeah," Tidus assured her, smiling. "Zanarkand never sleeps. We could go to the sea, before sunrise, and the city lights would go out one by one while the stars fade… then the horizon glows, kinda rose-colored, first in the sea then spreading to the sky, then to the whole city until everything glows!" He closed his eyes, remembering what it looked like to watch the sun rise over Zanarkand. He would like to be there to watch it again.

He knew, right then, that he would like Yuna to be there, too.

"It's really pretty," he said finally after a short silence. "I know you'd like it."

"I'd like to see it someday," Yuna murmured, looking down at the water.

"You can, Yuna," Tidus replied, following her gaze down to the water… where he saw a teardrop fall and hit the surface. "Yuna?"

"I just can't," she said, trying to stifle her tears. "I can't go."

"Yuna," Tidus murmured, walking to where she was standing. She was crying, her tears flowing down her cheeks until they hit the water.

He had to make things better. He had to show her how good life could be, how wonderful it could be if she only let it. Everyone else was scared, because she was going to die… they didn't want to offend her.

Tidus wasn't afraid.

He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned his head in close to hers. Their eyes met for a brief instant, and that was when he knew.

He could save her. He could change her life, make everything better for her, change her entire world – in the same way that Wakka had changed his. Though he felt a stab of guilt as he gazed into Yuna's eyes, he remembered Wakka's reassurance of him earlier. Yuna deserved to do what she _wanted _to do, not what she felt was _best _for her.

Maybe Wakka really had understood what Tidus was asking.

Fighting the nervousness that threatened to make him pull away, Tidus kissed Yuna in the water of Macalania Woods – and that changed everything.


End file.
